Why We Push People Away

Hi everyone! This post is slightly different from what I usually write about. I usually write about my faith experiences, but this topic was put on my heart and I really wanted to write about it.

This is a post I think that people will relate to because I see people do it every single day.

In the past, I’ve had a habit of pushing people away. You don’t want to get hurt and you definitely don’t have the energy to share your feelings, so we ignore their texts, stop interacting with them on social media or just stop interacting with them period. You’re pretty much ready to cut them completely out of you life. But there’s still a small part that longs to be their friend because you care.

Something to think about: What is causing you to push people away? Not just “because” but really, Why? What deep down inside causes you to avoid reaching out? Could it be fear, pride, anxiety or high expectations? Or all of them? If this sounds relevant to you, keep reading.

Pushing people away is a topic I see being posted all across social media; from different articles, blog posts, status updates, and even posting pictures of quotes on Instagram; people are crying out for a friend. At this point, they’ll do anything to have someone send them a message, let alone a friend. Yet we continue to push people away.

If there is any piece of advice I can give, it’s to never base your relationships on social media. If you base how much the people love you by how they interact with you on social media, you will end up feeling hurt and disappointed. Social media and technology take away nonverbal and verbal communication, so basically your interpretation of what the person on the other end could be completely wrong. However we don’t bother to ask for clarification because we assume the worst. Its funny how we think of the worst possible scenario, yet since proper communication is removed, we more than likely have the wrong idea. Am I saying social media is bad? No, not at all, but we need balance between face-to-face and sending text messages. I’ve learned so much about this area of social media and it has opened my eyes on how it impacts relationships. and I’m quite passionate about it.

I honestly think that we brush off people because they aren’t responding to us in a way we want or expect them to.

This may surprise you, but you don’t have to push people away, you really don’t. People aren’t out to get you or hurt you. But you don’t believe that because you “test out” people for friendship or as soon as the relationship feels like “work” that’s when you stop making an effort. Unfortunately, the more you treat relationships like “tests” and refuse to put in “work”, you will be disappointed. Since you will be disappointed, you will push people away. It’s a vicious cycle that we’re all too familiar with. The good news is, you don’t have to keep on going on this vicious cycle. Like I said above, you don’t have to push people away.

It’s worth the effort to reach out to someone, and you’re worth the effort. I wouldn’t have written this post if I didn’t experience the impact of pushing people away. Being able to accept love hasn’t happened quickly, its been a process of accepting who I am and who other people are. It takes time to get to that place of peace, actually, it’s a lifetime, but don’t be hard on yourself. Go for it! Whether its a friendship or potential love relationship, what’s to lose? If they end up pushing you away, at least you have begun the process. People who are willing to do life with you will see past all the negative things that have happened, you just have to be willing to be in it for the long haul.

I really hope that this post was meaningful and relevant.

Take care,

Abby

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