“Ab, you just need to bloom where you’re planted.”
15-year-old me; scared, insecure and full of angst would roll her eyes. No teenage girl wants to listen to her mother, especially when at that age you think you know everything. (and low-key I knew that she was right, and I was wrong. Yes mom, 5 years later, I am admitting that you were right) Besides, I wasn’t happy with where I was at in life, why should I see the good in it?
Why try to make things work when I could be comfortable in not doing anything about it?
But over the past 6 months, that saying I hated as a teenager has resonated more and more with me. This is an ode to 2016; the year where I discovered what “bloom where you’re planted” actually means.
One night a friend was driving me back home after we had gotten together with our friends from the campus Christian group at school and we got onto the topic of being “comfortable” in Christianity. We both agreed that Christians need to stop seeking a “comfortable life.” Where in the Bible does it say that life will be easier just because we’ve accepted Jesus in our lives? We need to go into that world, as painful and dark as it is, go in it with an indomitable spirit in Christ. Take the big things and the small things that are difficult and bring them to Christ.
Back in April I began to feel empty. I found out that university was not the right fit for me. I was scared because it was all I had ever wanted as a little girl. I had such a tight grip on setting my identity in being a digital media/culture and Communications academic; because I have learning disabilities, I felt that by doing the “unthinkable” by getting university education, I would be proving the world wrong! I was so comfortable in the fantasy of being someone who I wanted to be.
God “pulled the rug” out from under me when despite working incredibly hard on my school work, I had horrible grades. I didn’t fail, but it still felt like failure. I felt so stupid and began to become bitter about everything and anything around me.
It was one of those seasons in life where God had to save me from myself.
But, ladies and gentlemen, I found God in it. I found God in all of it, even in the darkest corners. I began to see why this moment in time had purpose in God’s plan: He wanted to show me how I could blossom while in turmoil. He wanted to show me that through Him I am strong, I am smart, I do have a bright future ahead of me and that ultimately I can put my identity in him because I am His beloved child. I had to go through a lot of emotions to figure it all out, but I didn’t do it alone. I decided to go to college to major in Public Relations instead, knowing that the “hands-on” experience would be beneficial for me, and it has. God in many ways has shown me that Public Relations is where He wants me to be.
Whatever comes, I know that God will hold me together and allow me to grow. As I blossom into the woman He is molding me into, the more I seek Him, the more I’m okay with not living a “comfortable life.” Now I feel full, because I have God as my comfort, and that I can indeed, “bloom where I’m planted.” And the good news, you can feel confident in Christ as well!
I read this verse and thought it really fit well with how we have to find God in the midst of the hurt:
So, 2017, I’m ready for you! 2015 was the year of being in process, 2016 was the year I learned to bloom where I’m planted; I’m looking forward to see what God has in store for 2017!
Bring. It. On.
Until next time,